Right Wave

“Empty mind is said to be devil's workshop"

Mostly, it seems that at this moment- Life has caught me on the wrong foot .May be my mind is empty and is incapable of thinking anything, all I could imagine is leaving behind everything and running away to a very distant land, which offers me new shades of life, new opportunities and new advances.

This is no new feeling, its common with everyone.

Everyone tells me and I feel it too, there is a conscience which seems to be trapped. But I wish to know, where and how it is trapped? I am also starting to believe that I am a bit more confused than normal being when it comes to knowing what I want from life. Success or Happiness. Family Values or Personal Agenda. Pro-active or Reactive. Social or loner.

At one instance I feel that I know the answer and at another it all seems to be useless shit.

                    I am greedy,I want everything in life. And I consider it as a Virtue, Life expects everything. Another confusion!! What would you expect of me when I say that I am good at analyzing things & people and this virtue in itself is turning into a disease, I wish I could stop but this analyzing keeps on filling my mind with all the weird thoughts, it fails to stop and then I have to channel it but recently it has gone crazy.

 After reading, ‘Seven Habits of Effective People’ i am trying to jot it down on a sheet of paper as to what I want with life, then the first thing would be I don’t want an average life as most of the human beings live, I even don’t want the life of a wealthy brat but what I want is a purpose to live, a role to play so that I may pioneer the change I wish to see in this world. I am not insane to think that I may change things around me but I feel helpless, powerless when it comes to fight for things I truly want and I let go of them believing that it’s not the time. Till you don’t have any Power and Authority, fighting for your values might trouble you.  One day, they would return and by then I would be ready to take my stand.

Yes, it is very optimistic of me to believe and to wait for that right moment. May be, everyone is waiting for their right moment. Entire world is waiting for that Right Wave.

Why I Hate SRK

It was the year of 1995: I was on the brink of Standard 3, when DDLJ was released. Entire audience was clapping at the end of the movie - where Simran runs behind the Train, and Raj pulls her in. Great ending, but DDLJ spoilt a generation in that era. I was along those spoiled ones. I started dreaming of my Simran. When accidently I will get inside a train, find girl of my dream and live happily ever after. After reaching my tender age, an urge of getting my Simran increases.

                                      Every time, I get into train, mostly for Kanpur, DDLJ was playing on the back of my mind that perhaps I meet my Simran somewhere.  She might be wearing big glasses; after finding her private stuffs, I would flirt with her, “Aapki aakhen bilkul meri Daadi jaisi hai”. Though I never liked small eyes of my Daadi, but still that pick-up line was one classic of that time. For the trouble with a grin that would show no sorry and I would say, “Bade, Bade shehron mein aise choti choti baatein ho rehti hai Senorita”. The rest as they’d say would have been history!

So, this was a dream which come true - never mind if they were taking me to one of the lesser known hills. After DDLJ, it was ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’. I craved to hear “Kuch kuch hota hain Karan, tum nahi samjhoge.” Seriously, no one understood me. I turned out to be spoiled brat of my school, not even single girl considered me seriously.

Even I led a make-belief life after that for a long time where I imagined bumping into Simran at the drop of an eyelid everywhere possible:

At the library-Imagining her fall from a ladder and I would be there to catch her, not bothering about her weight for love at first sight. Or she and I picking the same book from the opposite sides of the shelf following the smiles-ah! I know filmy, sue me!

In the trains-Getting into a wrong one and being into an adventure of sorts-damn, there was even some mind blowing session imagined in the pantry.

And then Shahrukh also gave me some unreasonable expectations, which I never fulfilled:-

1. I did not look in her eyes and said whatever I said with as much intensity as though Shahrukh did on screen.

2. I never spread out my hands with a slightly tilted head, when I saw her coming from far.

3. I did not talk in whispers sometimes just near her ears.

4. I did not overact. (Not exactly, but it was thoroughly unromantic.)

And when I did begin to like him a bit in Swades and Chak De, he managed to wash out all his impression by doing films like Om Shaanti Om, Billu Barber, Rab ne Bana De Jodi, Ra-one and the recent crap Chennai Express.

And although now some seventeen years have passed by, the after effects of Raj is fresh in my mind. But SRK is gone, and after looking at his up-coming projects I’m sure his impression will never come back in my mind.

Happy Birthday, Shah Rukh Khan.